I Was Lost, But Now Am Found. Thanks, Google.

For the longest time, I didn't really understand blogs. Specifically, how is one supposed to follow them? Checking back daily is, frankly, a lot of work if you have any sort of life, which I (mostly) do. So I did a little research and discovered the wonders of Google Reader, for keeping track of all the blogs I want to read, in one handy place.

But then there's another small matter: how does someone find a blog to follow in the first place? I understand, of course, that one can simply search with Google or Bing, but what does one search for? "Pithy, insightful blog"? 

I think you can imagine how excited I was to discover that it is possible to track, via Google analytics, exactly how people are finding my blog; specifically, what search terms bring folks in for a visit. Unfortunately, as sometimes happens, the research creates more questions than it answers. 


I know that other bloggers and webmasters will benefit from the results of my extensive, highly scientific research*. But since I'm a (mostly) nice person, I'd like to also offer my assistance, where possible, to those who surfed in here using any of the following terms. 

• Hands down, the number one search terms that brings people here is "Julie Powell Bondage." I cannot even begin to imagine the disappointment these searchers must experience when they google that phrase and then discover ... a book blog. I'm trying to think of something they might enjoy more. Anyone want to help me out with some photoshopping? 
• "Virtual Girls" Please consider match.com for all your future networking needs.
• "Bear eating penguin." Do bears even eat penguins? I thought sharks ate penguins. I'd try to google the answer but I suspect I'd end up right back here.
• "Penguin deep freezer." Why? Does the bear need to store penguin leftovers? Is Antarctica not cold enough to keep said leftovers fresh for polar bear midnight snacking?
• "Penguin Angus." Are you looking for a penguin named Angus? Don't know him, sorry. Or are you a bear looking for high-quality angus penguin? If the latter, check the freezer section at your local antarctic emporium.
• "Zombie Webkinz and I Want To Be One of Them." Finally, someone I can help. Buy yourself a Webkinz**, and then sometime around Halloween, go to the W Shop and buy your virtual pet a virtual zombie costume. Please note: you cannot actually convert yourself into pixels.

If you surfed in here on any of those search terms, or really, any search term not answered in my blog, please do let me know what you were actually hoping to find, and I'll do my best to help. 




* Hey, I'm sure someone at Google spent a lot of time making all those pretty charts on the analytics page.
**Any Webkinz will do, but the penguins are terribly cute.